Loneliness

“A friend is a second self, so that our consciousness of a friend’s existence…makes us more fully conscious of our own existence” - Aristotle

To many, loneliness is associated with being physically isolated, that is to say not being physically surrounded by individuals. While this is not necessarily incorrect, I believe that loneliness as a concept extends further beyond this idea. Even in a room full of people one is still able to have feelings of loneliness. 

Loneliness is not about the absence of other people and it never was. Loneliness is internal and is all about not understanding yourself. Loneliness is a state of the unknown where you are unable to grasp who you are and what it is you want. Now, it is ironic to think that we as humans don't completely understand ourselves, given the fact that we spend the most time with ourselves. In fact, we as individuals are the sole recipient of our own thoughts. We have the “data” which provides characterisation over who we are. We should know better than anyone else about what makes us happy, sad and inspired, should we not? However, humans are complex beings and our desires and identity are sometimes not often clear and understandable. It is perhaps the abundance of thoughts that can often interfere with the configuration of our own identity. Who we are as people carry depth within us and sometimes the overstimulation of who we are can prevent us from settling on a decision or conclusion.

The reason why we seem to find solace from other people is because their understanding of us as individuals shapes our own understanding of us as people. Sometimes, during a state of confusion and emptiness, a different perspective seeks to display an alternative outlook. What we seek from another person can be a reflection of our own subconscious: “a second self” as Aristotle says. 

The state of loneliness is further exacerbated when the desire to express one’s inner thoughts conflicts with the belief that they have no one to express their thoughts to. In our emptiness, we crave other people to share our burden lest we do not collapse from the burden we place onto ourselves. 

What is a life of loneliness? A life of loneliness is death, one which we cannot bear to continue living. To be lonely is to be devoid of a love for life. If one truly feels they are alone in this world,  they have no attachments to life, no external tethers to attach themselves to the world. It is a boat without an anchor which exists simply to drift across the ocean. Life no longer becomes a separate to death but simply a passageway to travel through as death nears by. Reasons for being are often interlinked with the relationships you form with other people. Ultimately, all goals derive from people other than yourself. Whether it may be because you want to ensure that people around you can live pleasing lives or whether you believe specific people are sources of inspiration for you forming your specific goals, all life purposes and passions are nothing without others. And what is a life of no purpose, without people who understand you and without people who you understand. It is simply nothingness. Loneliness is nothingness.